Something BIG is missing. I don't know how or why, but I think something has happened to my Mojave Desert. Perhaps magician David Copperfield hid it, or maybe even global warming is the culprit, but for whatever reason, I believe that something or someone has caused my desert to vanish. Something must have happened to it, because if it's not missing, then way else should California taxpayers have to "pay out $7.9 billion dollars to enhance (whatever that means) prison rehabilitation, transfer inmates out of state and plan for 53,000 new prison and jail beds." It seems as though no one has thought of using my desert to offset some of these extravagant costs. Did everyone really just forget about it, or did it simply go away during the middle of the night. What happened? Where did my desert go?

Now, I don't pretend to be an expert on deserts, but from what I've come to understand about them is that they're all pretty much the same, in that they're all large, arid tracts of vacant land that support very little vegetation. So what's so confusing to me is the fact that if the desert in Maricopa County, Arizona is pretty much the same as my Mojave Desert, then why can't we use my desert to house prisoners on it just like they do in the desert of Maricopa County, Arizona? I'll admit it's been a number of years since I've headed out towards Vegas, but the last time I checked, the Mojave Desert was still there. So, if it's not just a mirage and it is still there then why don't our elected officials in Sacramento know that it's there and act responsibly by setting up a cost effective "tent city jail" like they have in Maricopa County, saving us California tax payers some big bucks? I just don't get it.

We live in an age when our society has been slowly indoctrinated into a philosophy of protecting and preserving the environment, so we've all been taught to re-cycle everything from manure to tires. We've also been convinced to use whatever natural resources that are available to us, such as wind and solar energy to prevent global warming. So, if this is all true then why can't we use a portion of my Mojave Desert, a huge natural resource, to alleviate the so call prison "dilemma?" Perhaps this solution is much too difficult for our supreme leadership in Sacramento to logically grasp a hold of but somewhere deeply embedded within their infinite wisdom, shouldn't they at least exhibit some desire to find out what happened to my desert, so that they can put it to good use after it's been found?

Maybe my Mojave Desert really didn't go anywhere. Maybe the politicians in Sacramento simply chose not to save billions of taxpayer dollars, but instead decided to bow down to powerful labor unions in order to secure future political traction. Now, we all know that couldn't possibly be the case, but if it were, then I'd suggest we steal Sheriff Arpaion from Maricopa County, Arizona, so that he could convince our politicians to build and run a "tent city prison" here in California. You see, Joe's a very practical kind of guy and he knows it doesn't take BILLION$ of dollars to build and run a prison. In Sheriff Arpaio's mind, the only things necessary to provide Maricopa County with suitable housing for it's prisoners is some empty desert land, used tents, fencing, bright lights, armed guards and a desire to do what's right for his community. Oh, and let's not forget the willingness of the leadership at both the state and county level of Arizona, for having the insight and intestinal fortitude to give Joe the permission to build his "tent city prison." Yep, there's lots of good stuff going on in Joe's desert, in Maricopa County, Arizona. I wish I could find mine.

But then again, poor old Sheriff Joe isn't the most popular sheriff around, especially with his prisoners. You see, Joe not only doesn't provide his prisoners with air conditioned tents, he also doesn't allow them to mail out conventional letters, but only postcards, which significantly reduces mailing costs. Yep, it seems Joe is just a contrary old peace officer who loves doing his job by always looking for ways to save tax dollars. In all honesty, you could say that Joe is a novelty of sorts and a little old fashion, but then again he continues to get re-elected over and over again by a large margin of voters. I wonder why?

But let's get back to my missing desert. I guess that before we can build tent city jails, we first have to try and convince the "Terminator" and his "p.c.," self-serving pals in Sacramento that my desert really does exist. I know, I'll send them a map of California, to drop them a hint as to where they might start looking for it, along with an address and phone number, so they can get a hold of Mr. Arpaio to learn more about his tent city jail in Maricopa County, Arizona. Wake up "Sacramento," they even have FREE TOURS! Sounds like a gold plan, eh? Or do you think they really care?

In the meantime, I'm pretty sure someone stole my desert. Won't someone please help me find it?